Head Hunger

Oh head hunger how I hate thee.  Right now I feel as if you are my biggest nemesis.  You won today, but this is just a battle, not the war.  You crept up on me and you bit me in the brain, and like a fool I followed you.  Yes, I needed that Atkins Endulge Brownie.  I also needed those two Atkins Peanut Butter Cups.  Yeah and I needed a huge hole in my head. 

No, what I really need is to find a better way to deal with head hunger.

What is head hunger?   It is evil.  It is that hunger that when you give in you often end up with regret. Then, because you messed up, you think "Well, I might as well give up."  It's that hunger that make you suddenly feel that if you don't have that thing you are craving you will hurt someone.  It doesn't matter that you ate just a little while ago either. Me, I knew that I really didn't need to eat that brownie but, damn it all, I was going to eat it. For others, it's eating out of habit.  I always have sandwiches when I go fishing, a fishing trip wouldn't be the same without them.  For many it is a food addiction every bit as damaging as alcoholism and drug addiction.  Those of us that have dealt with our weight often know head hunger too well but at the same time we have problems recognizing it when it hits.  Many people think that because we have had WLS we should be rid of all our problems.  Well I'm going to borrow something my support group leader has said several times.  

"I did not have brain surgery."

Too many people assume that because our stomachs are smaller we are miraculously cured of this thing that drives us to not follow our diets, to graze throughout the day and eat foods that will cause us to fail.

You see, despite these surgeries we have we can still regain our weight.  I have known several that have had complete regain of all the weight they lost.  I've also known people that only had a partial regain and then realize they needed to get ahold of themselves before it was too late.

I believe head hunger is a big issue in this journey of ours.  I also believe for each and every one of us "head hunger" hits us differently; bottom line is that it is part of food addiction.  It hits us in the same manner a drug addict "jones" for their drug.  The way a gambling addict will just have to hit the slots. I am reminded of the movie New Jack City  and Pooky's sobbing "I tried to kick... but that shit just be callin' me man, it be callin' me, man... I just got to go to it!"  We just have to have that food.  It doesn't matter if we just ate 30 minutes ago we are going to eat again.

Those of us that struggle need to learn the difference between head hunger and real hunger.  We need to find ways to occupy our minds when faced with that urge to eat when we know we aren't doing it to feed our body but to feed our addiction or mind.

I did a bit of research before writing this.  I looked at countless articles and other blogs, watched a few vlogs (some were really bad) and have finally decided I am going to put the question forward to the various support groups.  I'm going to make note of the responses and report back.

Until then, I am going to do what usually works for me. 

• Ask myself if I am hungry because I need to fuel my body
• If it is not fuel work on walking away
• Lastly, develop a game plan for distraction

Wish me Luck!!!