Is that REALLY support. Rant alert!!

Sometimes when I see something wrong, I just have to speak up.  I get hurt at times for doing that.  I've stood up for friends and taken a lot of flack only to have them eventually turn their back on me.  Ive helped people to have them use me and then disappear from my life.  Usually when that happens it's for the better even if they end up owing me money.  I hold strong to my convictions and rarely do I change.  Not that I won't because I have.  Not that I won't listen to the other side, because I do.  One time I was told "I don't care who you are, President of the U.S. or a bum on the street corner; right is right and wrong is wrong."  That is the reason for this post.

I am a member of several different bariatric support groups.  There is one that I attend monthly at one of the hospitals.  Then there are some on Facebook.  A couple of those I have begun to question just what they think support is.

I was banned from the one.  Why?  Well I spoke my mind.  The group is Gastric Sleeve Support Group.  One of the now former members attends Umpqua Community College where the most recent idiot went into class with guns and started shooting.  At the time of her post requesting prayers she didn't know if any of her friends were among the injured or dead. Many of us that have had WLS are emotional eaters.  How anyone cannot see that this tragedy could easily be a catalyst for a food fest is beyond me.  The powers that be on that site, namely one Sonya D Barham  banned this girl in her time of need because her post was not related to weight loss surgery.   This group has a rule that non WLS posts are deleted and the poster banned.  My feeling is that for every rule there is an exception to that rule.  That allowances can be made depending on the circumstance.  I believe this time an exception was warranted.  So I spoke my mind.  I felt the administrator that was behind her banning owed her an apology and explanation and said so.  I was banned for that.  I'm not the only one banned.  There were numerous people just as appalled as I was and each one banned for speaking their mind. Others quit out of principal and in solidarity. One girl knew she would be banned because she was promoting a secret support group.  Another was lucky enough to receive a very thoughtful little note from Sonya before her expulsion.

Wasn't that so thoughtful?
I am proud that I stood up for this 19 year old girl.  I stood by my convictions.  Sonya really made my life easy.  I was going to give that group until noon on Friday to explain and apologize.  They made my life easy early Friday morning.  


This isn't the only other "support group" I am questioning.  The other is also a Facebook group established by a company that sells bariatric vitamins, protein powder and ready to drink protein drinks.  Their website also sells a few products from other companies and has a really good selection of bariatric recopies.  Their Facebook page has a large number of members who are active and very helpful.  My problem is the admin staff.  They are obviously paid salespersons.  They push their product often posting links to a product that is currently not available.  Many people come on their page complaining about receipt of incomplete orders.  The admins inform members they can't communicate with customer support, they receive orders like that and the product ships from 2 different locations.  Today I looked up the company.  BBB gives them an F rating and I see that there are 3 years of complaints from people not getting their product or a refund.  That is alarming however I really doubt I will ever order from them again, their product just isn't that good.  The thing that gets to me the most is the founder using scare tactics to promote the product.  A recent post said:

Regarding all 'are they okay?' Vitamin queries. With all due respect, we do not encourage the use of Gummy, Flintstones or Centrum vitamins by bariatric patients. THINK - you are not a 70 pound child - you are a 300 pound adult who has had most of their stomach removed or rearranged. In 15 years, many of us Old Timers have known many patients who have suffered life changing effects of deficiency or have died because theSy didn't take this seriously.

We will not enter into disputes with 3 year post ops who say 'MY LABS ARE GREAT' as in all likelihood their bones are dissolving, iron levels are tanking, teeth are loosening and irreversible nerve damage from B deficiencies is taking hold. Many of you walk around balding and blowing gas while complaining that you are tired. Look at the circles under your eyes and FYI, you don't chew ice because you LIKE it. Its called PICA and it warns deficiency.

IF you are taking drugstore vitamins, we applaud that you are at least taking SOMETHING. Over 2/3 of you take NOTHING and that is just dumb.

Our [product name removed] were developed because we have had our own scary complications from deficiencies. An ALL IN ONE formula gives us a fighting chance as we actually TAKE them and they specifically address known issues differently than old bariatric standbys. We strongly suggest[product name removed]. You don't have to take them to be a member here, but one day you may wish you had been taking them. If you have a $150 a month PHONE PLAN, but $42 vitamins are too much... reassess your life. You've modified your organs.

I really don't consider hard handed bullying tactics to be support.  I have seen other posts where she told people their bones are going to dissolve and they lose their teeth if their products aren't used.  I don't like berating people for following their nutritionist instructions.  I don't understand how anyone without the education can claim to know more than the surgeon who has years of practice and clinical expertise.

My point in this very lengthy rant and bitch session?  When entering a support group be cognizant of the group itself.  Examine the rules, how the powers that be treat members and determine if that group is for you.  The second group I'm still a member, I appreciate the members advice given and I can overlook the pushiness of the admins and the bully tactics of the founder.